


i may be neglecting the things i should do

by nosecoffee



Series: my junk is you [5]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Comedy, Dialogue-Only Challenge, Domestic, F/M, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Sexual References, Vague Texting AU, game references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 13:20:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9125461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosecoffee/pseuds/nosecoffee
Summary: Lafayette: FoopapedrettiAngelica: whatLafayette: wrong person, sorry





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'My Junk' from Spring Awakening
> 
> A lot of these conversation pieces come from the beach trip I was just on as well as a dinner party I went to. I hope you enjoy!

James: if I accidentally let slip that we've been fucking for like a month now, how would you feel about that

Thomas: depends, who did you tell?

~

Alex: has Maddy been giving you the good dick™?

Thomas: fuck off

~

Hercules: did you know that there is almost nothing to do when it's raining at the beach

Lafayette: mon ami, I cannot come get you

Hercules: even if I paid you?

Lafayette: aren't you with Eliza and Philip and Franky and Theo?

Hercules: yeah, but there's only so many rounds of SuperFight I can take before I'm actually ready to fling myself off a conveniently situated cliff because according to Philip Freddy Kruger who is armed with a spork can't beat Dory from finding Nemo with a kitten canon

Lafayette: I still cannot come and get you

Hercules: why? the rain is nothing

Lafayette: I'm busy

~

Hercules: John Fucking Laurens

John: oh, so you were the one Laf was texting. he can't come up the phone right now leave a message after the hidtxybigwgib

Hercules: I actually hate you both

~

"So we have had the whole apartment to ourselves for like two days now and we have yet to fuck on the kitchen counter."

"Alex, no seats where you eats."

"I'll suck your dick."

"You put up a good argument."

~

"I'm biased but that was pretty great."

"Shut up, Aaron, that's gay."

"You're gay."

"Your face is gay."

"I can't believe I'm marrying you."

~

Hercules: is that blue sky? No wait it's more fucking clouds

Peggy: you poor dear. Suffering in a beach house with many bedrooms and closets and such while my father can conveniently take the children to a fish and chips shop for lunch while you and Eliza handle your business

Hercules: you're a fucking genius

~

Eliza: what did you say to Hercules

Peggy: ah nuts

Eliza: not that I'm complaining but why

Peggy: WHY DID YOU EVEN GO TO THE BEACH ITS THE MIDDLE OF WINTER

~

"Thanks, James. You know I adore you."

"It's cool. I'm sure it wouldn't have been hard to hack into Alex's computer in any case, but I'm glad you came to me."

"Well, I'll certainly come back next time I need-"

"I've been fucking Thomas."

"James, what the fuck."

"Sorry. That was weird. I've been doing that all week."

"Does Thomas know that you've been doing that all week?"

"Yes? Who am I kidding? I'm a mess."

"It's fine, James. He gets hung up on it. First it's just sex and then he buys you dinner and next thing you know you're all over his Instagram."

"I totally forgot you dated him."

"We fucked twice and only now do I realise that that was a huge mistake."

"Angelica, you're a godsend."

"Eh, I try."

~

Lafayette: Foopapedretti

Angelica: what

Lafayette: wrong person, sorry

~

"So I've been thinking about it."

"Yeah?"

"And I am naming my first born Saxifrage."

"You already have a son."

"So?"

"I refuse to have a child called Saxifrage."

"Aaron..."

"Fuck no, Alexander."

~

Peggy: I'm excited

Alex: why

Peggy: for lunch

Alex: why

Peggy: just lunch as a general concept

Alex: fair

~

"Did Philip just walk up five steps and say 'fuck'?"

"I blame Alex's parenting."

~

"If I told you that I got us seats to Rogue One what would you say."

"I am currently too tired to fuck you on the spot but I could probably give you a solid handy in the back of the theatre."

"I got us seats to Rogue One, mon amour."

"Handy it is."

~

"Did she just call a piñata a brothel."

"I'm sure she doesn't know what it means."

"Good. Because then I'd have slap John in his stupid face and I don't want to have to do that right now."

"You couldn't. We're in the middle of fucking no where."

"We're at the beach, Hercules."

"In WINTER, Eliza."

"Do you want to have sex tonight or are you enforcing celibacy on this house."

"Alright, alright, no need to get serious."

~

"I can't choose between quiche and self loathing."

"That's what she said."

"No it's not, Thomas. Shut the fuck up. This is Cards Against Humanity not fucking PunderDome."

~

Angelica: just letting you know, I think James loves you

~

James: what did you say to him

Angelica: Thomas?

James: he's crying what did you say he won't tell me

Angelica: this is highly irregular he never cries

James: you're not gonna tell me

Angelica: nope

~

"Do you love me, James?"

"It's been a month."

"But do you love me?"

"Sure, I guess."

"When does Dolley arrive?"

"Three hours."

"We've got time."

"For what?"

~

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"No, I understand now."

"Don't fucking push it, James."

"I'll fucking push you off the bed."

"Fair."

~

"I'm making eggs."

"Is that mayonnaise?"

"You bet your tight ass, it is, Ham Man."

"Okay. You do you."

~

"Remind me why we're hiding in a tree again?"

"Philip went to see if we can have ice cream tonight, but we have to prepared in case Mrs Schuyler and Mr Mulligan are having another 'grown up discussion'."

"I wonder what those are like."

"I think there's a lot of high fiving involved. That's what Alex told me."

"Dad won't tell me anything about it and my mom says I'm too young."

"Daddy says the same thing, and then he changes the subject."

"For something they do so frequently, they sure don't talk about it a lot."

~

Peggy: what fresh hell is this?

Alex: hm?

Peggy: I was going through your fridge and I tried to make eggs but one of them was hard boiled and it smelled like it was hard boiled in the prehistoric era.

Alex: Aaron tries to make me eat healthy, but I never eat them, I just trick him into thinking I do

Peggy: you're fucking crazy Eliza should never leave you and Aaron to your own devices while Theo is away

~

"'Liza? Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I'm fine."

"You're so full of shit. You're crying, you moron."

~

"I can't decide if that's relaxing or kinky."

"DON'T."

"But-"

"NO."

~

Eliza: I think I'm pregnant

Peggy: p sure ur not

Eliza: no no I mean it

Angelica: ????? clarify????

Eliza: remember when I was pregnant with Philip and I had that weird dream about Prince

Peggy: rip

Angelica: and you lived off swordfish and dried mango for months on end before we had to take you to the clinic because your metabolism was fucked?

Eliza: I'm really craving dried mango right now

Peggy: wtf

Eliza: also I had a dream about Prince last night, bye

Angelica: YOU CANT JUST LEAVE THAT THERE DOES HERCULES KNOW

~

"Hey, on our way home, can we get some swordfish?"

"Oh my god you're pregnant."

  
Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, please leave a comment and a kudos and find me on Tumblr @nose-coffee. THANKS!


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